Late night thoughts...

As I am reading through my notes and having some reflection time I am thinking. Yes, sometimes that is very dangerous for me, but I do have some very intense thoughts at times. Tonight I am relfecting on the whole nursing school process and what it means in my life. Right now, it means that I am away from my husband for most of the week with our children. It means that I am spending long hours studying, reviewing, and talking with classmates trying to figure out what exactly is due next. It means that I am learning how to switch my thinking process from right now to sometime down the line. Is it hard?-----Absolutely. It is rewarding?----Absolutely. I know that the end justifies the means in this process. I pray daily that God will show me that this is really all worth it. That truly the end justifies the means. There are so many opportunities as a nurse for anyone. At some point I have to think about where I want to spend my 12 hour shifts. I thought I knew where I wanted to go and for those of you who know me well...you know where that is, but I am not so sure about that anymore. I don't feel that same tug as strong as I once did. I don't know where I belong in this whole process. Right now I guess it is just figuring out where God wants me and I need to be content in that.

HA HA...me be content in a situation. Well, for now, I don't have a choice. I should rejoice that I have the chance to bless patient's as a student and then as a nurse. I have to be a student to be a teacher. I am very excited that next week we go on pediatrics rotations. That will give me a chance to see if I can see children as patient's and not bring home the emotions that go with that. Hopefully, I can with God's help.

This probably doesn't make sense to anyone, but it is very therapeutic for me to write out my thoughts and that is the purpose of blogging anyway.

It is late and I have 2 tests tomorrow. Again, more of the "What this means" category.

Love to all.